Oh hell, YES, Forever 21! I will be rocking all your amazing plus-size lewks this season!
WHY WOULDN’T I WANT TO WEAR RED NETTING, I ASK YOU? AT ANY AGE! Or apricot cold shoulder shiny tops!
WOOT, YES, so badly do I long to THROW shiny floral fabric around my midriff and pull on some … pants? Maybe pants? and STRIDE into my place of power as a religious leader!
ALL of these garments… ALL of ’em, are flattering, beautiful, dignified! CONFIDENCE, FEEL IT in your grown-lady romper and asymmetrical sashage! You have a CHOICE today, laydeez! You can either go Hoochie Mama Minimalist or Baby Snooks Pregnant!
Oh, yes I will be wearing shiny hot pants this Advent! Because I am a relevant, modern, body-poz feminist minister!
I’m gonna work that Coffee Hour like a RUNWAY.
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